Thursday, February 10, 2011

to the woman who gave me life...

i want you to know that this has been very hard for me to do but it is something i feel like i need to do and get off of my chest before i have the little life inside of me. i don't know who you are, or where you are, or what you are like. i don't know what type of person you are, the things you enjoy doing, or if you have a little family of your own by now. i will be honest with you, it is a rare occasion when i think of you. but... lately, i think of you a lot. there is something that i want you to know...

you are my hero.

i have always thought very highly of you. there is only one thing i have known about you my whole life and that was that you were very young when i was the little life growing inside of you. i am sure it must  have been hard for you to go through that alone, young, and scared. i don't know how you did it. i don't know where you got the strength to let people judge you and look down on you. most importantly, i don't know how you had me growing inside of you for 9 months, feeling me move inside of you, taking care of yourself just so the little life growing inside of you stayed safe, all the time knowing that at the end of it all... that little life you did such a good job taking care of would be placed in the arms of another. having my own little life inside of me now, i cannot imagine how you were able to do... and for you...

I THANK YOU!

you gave me the greatest gift anyone will ever give me. you gave me up, and with that i was placed in a family that has loved me non stop since the day they took me home. a dad who would give his life for me and a mom who is the most incredible woman i know. my life is pretty incredible. i think you would be happy to see how i ended up... i know that is what you wanted for me. i wanted to thank you for having the courage to go through 9 months of pregnancy (morning sickness, weight gain, nausea), going through labor, and then having the strength of 1000 women to give up the baby that had grown inside of you for so long. i now understand how hard that must have been on you but i want you to know that i am ok. i am great. i am loved. and now, i am going to be a mother. a great mother... and i have you to thank for that.



this is not going to be sent to anyone... just something i had to write.

8 comments:

  1. That is beautiful! I could never imagine giving up the life that grew inside of me and the selflessness that your birth mom had to give you a better life is incredible!

    Not too much longer and you will see how truly amazing holding your tiny dancer in your arms feels!!!

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  2. i.have.no.words.
    ok yes i do....
    you are simply amazing. always have been from the day i first held you at 2 days old youve been my little bundle. you were me and jon biggest dream come true - our first cousin!!! which consequently we probably met you on april fools day and we probably thought we were getting punked when in reality it was the greatest gift ever.

    i love you and admire her, respect her, and thank her for giving you life and giving you to us.

    cannot wait to meet little oli oli oxen freeeeeee

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  3. What an amazing tribute to your birth mother. I cannot imagine doing what she did, too. And for that, she is one great, strong mother.

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  4. OK I'm bawling. This is truly beautiful. xo I wish you could get this to her somehow. I wonder if it would relieve her, I'm sure she worries about you. XO

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  5. I'm adopted too. I was fortunate enough to meet my birth mother 3 years ago, and it has been an interesting journey. I understand exactly what you're going through, and how it feels to have a baby inside you and feel it. It makes your feelings complicated, and yet so clear about your purpose as a mother. Take care, you will be wonderful.

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  6. This is very mature of you and a wonderfully, beautiful letter. xxx

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