Monday, July 25, 2011

guest post: young&restless

Hello fabulous readers of the days filled with love blog :) This is my very first guest post so forgive the awkwardness and possible pointless ramblings. I guess i better start off with introducing myself. My name is Christa, and i blog over at the Young&Restless blog (link is to the left :) Its mostly just about our every day life but i try to add some depth and meaning in my blogging. I just turned 22, been married almost 4 years now, and our daughter just turned 2! I work 2 days a week at a care center, babysit 3 little girls 4 days a week, and do photography on the side. Im very random, positive, humerous, and an all around REALLY awesome person :)

So when Melissa asked me to guest post i was really excited, and when she told me i was open to talk about whatever i wanted, i felt a little intimidated. But after thinking about it, I figured id talk about the biggest thing that we are going through in our lives and what comes along with it. And the biggest thing we are going through would be the “TERRIBLE TWO’S” stage! We have all heard of the terrible two’s. The time when children bite, hit, scream and cry for attention. Everyone warned me, and boy they weren’t kidding. I thought my daughter, Braylee, would skip out on them due to having terrible ones but no, literally ON her second birthday, they began. {{insert sad face}}.

So for this post to apply for everyone, im breaking down the terrible two’s stage. So the first and most important thing is PATIENCE (I know, I know, go figure right), and UNDERSTANDING.
Majority of the time, we get caught up in the situation. We get frustrated, overwhelmed, and naturally, just want control of the situation and want it better. So here are some key things to remember BEFORE the occurrence of a tantrum.

This childhood phase is difficult for parents, but it is also a hard time for children. Before age 2 until about 3 years of age, a child is gaining his/her own independence. They want to make their own decisions and because of their limited vocabulary (about 50 words), he/she is often unable to make their demands clear. Often a child will turn their frustration into a temper tantrum of anger and tears because he/she is unable to effectively communicate with his parents.

It is important for parents to remember that a temper tantrum is your child’s way of getting attention. No matter what causes the burst of frustration, parents must follow three key rules:

Always keep your cool.
Temper tantrums can be scary for children because they do not have control over their emotions. When parents lash out or yell—they also appear to have lost control, making the situation more stressful for the child.

Do NOT give in to tantrums.
You will only be teaching your child that this behavior will allow him to get what he wants.

Talk it over.
Once your child has calmed down, explain why her behavior was not appropriate. Acknowledge her frustration and ask her to explain to you what she wanted. Let your child know that putting her feelings into words will produce better results.

If the tantrum escalades to screaming, throwing or hitting others, remove your child at once and go to a quiet, safe place like a bedroom. Tell your child why he received a ‘time out’ or had to leave the room, “Because you threw the Lego at your brother.” If you are in a public place, be ready to leave with your child if he cannot calm himself down.

But if your child is older, we still deal with kids who are trying to figure out their emotions or easily get angry. Even in the adult world, we all deal with people who don’t express their emotions in the “proper” way. Anger is the most common emotion that we deal with. And the most important thing to understand about anger is that ANGER IS A SECONDARY EMOTION. Even though its not the easy route, sometimes we need to dig deep to figure out what caused the anger, whether it be pain, confusion, etc. And we all know that’s not always easy and usually causes us ourselves to get angry. It really is a vicious cycle. But if we all could train ourselves to stay calm and understanding the world would be such an easier place to live in :)
So in conclusion, with any situation in life, remember to stay calm, be understanding, and don’t sweat them small stuff. All messes are cleanable :)

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