Thursday, January 19, 2012

stop.

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today while i was driving home from work i realized something. i am guilty of being that mom that wants her baby to be the best at everything. i wanted her to breastfeed, to start solids, to have teeth, to crawl, to stand, and now here i am wanting her to walk. and then i stopped and thought about it. 

i miss breastfeeding my baby. it was something that i will always cherish. i miss having her close to me and being able to nurture her in the most pure way. i miss those days when she was exploring cereal. i don't miss the teething but i do miss the excitement of feeling that first tooth when she bit down on my finger. i miss when she would just sit there, smiling at me. just sitting there. i miss when the crawling began and how she would never get very far but how we would make a big deal about it anyways. i miss the baby that needed me. the baby that couldn't get around the house without being on my hip. i miss my baby!

i know she is still a baby... but that isn't the point. as moms we sit here and rush everything. we read books and look forward to the next step. but what is wrong with just enjoying the step we are in right now. i have stopped. i have stopped obsessing about standing and walking and talking and blah blah blah. i am enjoying my little girl right now. in present time. the little girl the crawls up to me so excited because she wants to sit on my lap. the little girl that screams of excitement when i walk into the room. the little girl that holds onto my legs to stand up and then lifts her arms up for me to pick her up. i love this moment and i am sorry that i have wasted so much time thinking about tomorrow. 

2 comments:

  1. Do not blame yourself for anything. Do not feel guilty for anything, anything at all, because this is COMPLETELY normal. All moms, every single mom out there, goes through this at some point or another. It's hard to always live in the moment and not look for tomorrow, that's a life lesson that we all learn with time. And if you've learned it now, then good for you! Things will be so much more enjoyable from now on out! You can't dwell on the past and you can't miss what has been, because that is all in the past. Instead, love how your life is right now, because things are never going to stop changing. Olivia is just going to keep getting bigger and bigger, you can't stop her from growing up. One day, you'll look back, and miss the point in her life that she is at right now. Enjoy it while you can!<3

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